The Guide to Beating Your Friends at Poker

"Play the player, not the game."
I've already mentioned more than once on using some of these observations to your advantage in a game of poker, so I figured I'd compile all the important ideas and add some new ones to make a neat set of instructions for you. With this, I hope you can gain and harness the body language skills to decimate your friends' wallets.

*Disclaimer*
If you are hosting a poker night, participants MUST be legitimate guests and/or friends, the session MUST be closed to the public, and you MUST NOT charge an entry fee that is separate from the stakes. If you don't follow these rules, you are breaking the law!

I'm mainly focusing on Texas Hold 'Em, if you don't know the rules, look them up.

What you want to pay attention are behaviors that are irregular. A "tell" could be meaningless if it is constantly present--knees bouncing up and down is a sign of excitement, but if the person is constantly bouncing his knees he could just be naturally restless. Figuring out a person's normal behavior is called establishing a baseline.

Step 1: The initial deal

• Pay attention to the other participants as they get their cards and look for the changes in their face. Facial tells can be as subtle as a slight eye brow-raise (pleasure, excitement) or as apparent as a cringe. 
• If they have a good pa-pa-pa-poker face, check their legs and feet (but don't be obvious!). If their knees start to bounce in reaction to seeing their hand, you can assume the cards are good.
• Check for defensive behaviors. These will look as if to help the person hold his/her ground. Look for fist clenching or grabbing on to a chair's armrest, as well as feet being planted firmly on the ground. If the person gets defensive, it means they are going to have a tough time winning with their cards. I've talked about pacifying behaviors before. The same rules apply.

Step 2: The flop, turn, and river

• Each time a new card is presented is an opportunity for you to see how the players feel. You can apply the same ideas from Step 1 here. Even if you fold early, I highly recommend still paying attention to how your friends behave.
• The card-reveal phase is also a place where you can observe a constant behavior to stop. If a person constantly bounces his knees and then suddenly stops on the turn, take note of it. He suddenly has a reason to be inconspicuous and monitor his own behavior, which means he's in bluffing mode.
• Some may pretend to give negative signals to throw you off, but all you have to do is see how long they keep it up. If their act is drawn-out over a long period of time, then they are most likely lying. A 10-30 second display of "oh my hand sucks" is way too long to be considered an honest reaction. An honest reaction (or "tell" or "twitch") is just that: a reaction. These should never last longer than 3 seconds.

Step 3: The betting phases

• Here you want to see how the players would react to a raise in bet. If a player is confident in their hand, they will show no defensive signs. A confident player will sit up when faced with a challenge, and the bad poker players usually won't be able to hide their excited knee-bouncing at this point. The knee-bounce is super important, if you couldn't already tell.
• You should also pay attention to who raises the bet as well. Was he the one that displayed defensive signals in the other phases? He's bluffing, so you should call or raise further. Make sure their actions match their earlier behavior. If they don't match, it's a bluff. Also make sure the act of betting (an act of high confidence) is followed by confident nonverbal behavior. If they pacify themselves after a raise, their actions don't match their feelings: it's a bluff.

What do you do against an "all-in"?

Well, that's up to you. Has the player been consistently displaying signs of confidence? Does he have an upright posture? Does he have a smile and a "twinkle" in his eyes? It may be safer to cut your losses here and let him win this round. Conversely, a player may use the "all-in" as a desperate way to get back into the game. If his earlier behaviors match this sentiment, you can definitely match his bet and get him out of the game.

Closing

I hope this guide helps you, but remember: with great power comes great responsibility. You should be thinking about how your winnings are going to affect the relationship you have with your friends. If you don't actually care, then by all means take their money. You earned it.

Terms to remember:

Baseline

The general rule about an honest reaction being quick

Arneson, E. Texas Hold 'Em Poker Rules. Retrieved from http://boardgames.about.com/cs/poker/a/texas_rules.htm

Navarro, J. (2008). What Every BODY Is Saying: An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Speed-Reading People. New York: Harper Collins.

Uncredited. Retrieved from http://www.flopturnriverpoker.com/poker/pacifying-behavioral-tells