Lie to Me--Detecting Dishonesty

Lie detection is what many people think of when it comes to facial reactions and nonverbal behavior. Unfortunately there are many things to learn and perfect before you can accurately accuse someone of lying, and hopefully you've gained some of those skills from this blog.

This will be a finale of sorts, tying up all the lessons in one neat package. Without further ado, let's get right to it.

Is lie detection really possible?

The short answer is "yes," but there are so many complications and qualifiers that even the most seasoned of spy-catchers can honestly admit to "getting it right" only a little over half of the time. Detecting a lie is as complex as it is challenging, much more complex than my rather simple analysis of Clinton's speech. As I've stated many times before, it's not just about the one tell you see but the combination of many in succession--in response to something that just happened. You have to ask the right questions and observe the right response before you can even begin to accurately doubt a person's honesty.

I'm not looking for a philosophical discussion. Just give me pointers.

Okay.

• Start at the feet. Are they pointing anywhere other than at you? If the feet are pointing towards a door or exit, they're in a hurry to leave you or would rather be somewhere else.
• Look at their arms and torso. Did they just cover up their stomach area in response to what you just said? If a person buttons up their jacket as a reaction, it means they have a reason to not be "open" or fully upfront. Did the person grab an object to create a barrier between you? A physical barrier is a strong "flight" maneuver and indicates relevant secrecy.
• Assess their posture. Posture is great to determine level of confidence. Are they supposed to be feeling a little "down"? Does the posture reflect that? Look for inconsistencies here.

 Hopefully you've done all of this quickly enough to spend some time looking at the face.

• The easiest thing to observe is the lip-purse--the person exerts effort into keeping the mouth closed. When you see the lips slowly disappear into the mouth, you know the person is hiding something. A bad liar can give himself away if he follows up the lip-purse with a strong swallow.
• Does the person have a reason to be angry? Look for the nostril-flair and a small set of wrinkles at the very top of the nose. You can practice this face in the mirror to better understand how the "anger face" looks. 
• When the person makes a statement, look for the iconic eyebrow-raise. This indicates a surprise to one's own words (I've mentioned this before as well). This means what they say doesn't match what they think or feel. This means, in the words of Tim Roth, "he's lying."
• Remember pacifying behaviors? An unpracticed liar can't help but to touch his face in an attempt to subconsciously soothe himself. Look for any type of rubbing or pinching that follows a statement.

This is by no means an exhaustive list. This list will not make you an expert lie detector overnight. If you come face-to-face with a sociopath serial killer, you most likely won't be able to tell if he is being dishonest at all. This stuff is hard, and it should be. Emotions are complicated and it takes loads of practice to decipher them correctly. Hopefully you can at least learn to tell if your friend is lying about stealing your bike, if your roommate is lying about eating the last chocolate bar, or if your dad is lying about accidentally running over your pet rat.

Most importantly, follow your gut. You'd be surprised at how often your instincts are right.


Navarro, J. (2008). What Every BODY Is Saying: An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Speed-Reading People. New York: Harper Collins.

Your Words Can Lie, but Your Face Can't--Micro-Expressions

I've referenced "Lie to Me" time and time again, and this entry will talk about some of the details of Dr. Paul Ekman's study on micro-expressions. Yes, the science behind the show is largely accurate, albeit slightly exaggerated (for the sake of entertainment, of course).

In short, when you look for micro-expressions you look for the split-second reaction of all the tiny muscle movements in the face. Looking for these signals will primarily give you honest information of a person who is deliberately trying to hide their emotions--acting "cool."

As with reading all nonverbal cues, being able to identify just one signal doesn't automatically mean your assumptions are correct. Be very careful and sure before you accuse someone of dishonesty!

The Basics

Looking at the eyes:

• Where are they looking? A fixed gaze generally indicates emotions that deal with interpersonal reactions, including positive feelings like happiness and negative feelings like anger, contempt, and guilt. Emotions like surprise and sadness don't usually fix the eye on any particular subject.
• How do the ocular muscles look? If the eyes seem to be closing while fixed on the subject, it indicates a strong negative emotion like disgust--the brain doesn't like what it sees so it attempts to shut the image out. Eyes widening can indicate a pleasurable reaction, such as a "happy surprise" or excitement.
• Deciphering a real smile. A smile is easy to fake in the professional world. It's a sign of openness and marginal respect. How can you tell the fake smiles from the real? Look for crows feet, or a small cluster of wrinkles that happen on the side of your eyes when you give an honest smile (easily observable when you say or hear a hilarious joke). Be careful with this one, however, because this little expression is easy to fake once you're aware!

 Looking at the mouth and nose:

• As negative and aggressive emotions get stronger (such as anger), you can observe that the mouth appears smaller and smaller. Lips get pursed and narrowed before they make the "frown," and you'll see less of their lips as the person get angrier. What you really want to watch out for, however, is when they show their teeth. If teeth follow a serious display of anger, this means they are ready to physically attack. A visual signal that predicts a specific action is called an intention cue, and being able to read these will greatly help you deal with aggression.
• Both sides of the lips rising, of course, is generally an indication of positive emotion or at least a neutral one. 
• Negative emotions that aren't aggressive, which are usually temporary dispositions like disgust, can make the nose crinkle up. This works very much like the eyes narrowing--minimizing the sensory input from the displeasing subject. The next time you hear a really gross and unfunny joke, pay attention to what your nose does. You may not be able to smell the joke, but your brain doesn't want to risk that chance.
• A half smile (seen more often than you think) is often indicative of arrogance. A lip corner raised and tightened on only one side of the mouth is a telltale sign of contempt, usually paired with a small eye-crinkle on the same side. Lets say you do really well on a test in a class your friend has some trouble in. If he gives you the half-smile, you can go ahead and assume he's jealous.

Aren't there more emotions?

Yes there are, but once you learn the basic technique to decoding what you see, deciphering other emotions become much simpler. Start with the basic happiness, anger, and disgust. Those three are around you in abundance and you'll have little trouble instigating them for a bit of practice. Just keep practicing and you'll naturally pick up how to read the other ones.

Terms to remember:

Intention cue


Navarro, J. (2008). What Every BODY Is Saying: An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Speed-Reading People. New York: Harper Collins.


O'Sullivan, M. (2009, April 17). Micro Expression and a Good Liar. Psychology Today. Retrieved November 28, 2011, from http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/deception/200904/micro-expressions-and-good-liar

Uncredited (2011, March 29th). Microexpressions - A Key to Studying Human Behavior. Social Engineering. Retrieved November 28th, 2011, from http://www.social-engineer.org/interesting-se-articles/microexpressions-a-key-to-studying-human-behavior/


Uncredited. Micro Expressions Introduction. Global Emotion. Retrieved November 28, 2011, from http://www.globalemotion.de/micro-expressions-einfuehrung.html

University at Buffalo (2006, May 5). Lying Is Exposed By Micro-expressions We Can't Control. ScienceDaily. Retrieved November 28, 2011, from http://www.sciencedaily.com­ /releases/2006/05/060505161952.htm

Wilson, S. (2009, March 6). Paul Ekman, the master of micro-expressions. The Guardian. Retrieved November 28, 2011, from http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2009/mar/07/micro-facial-expressions-poker-face
 

A Guest Entry

For this week, I have a guest writer talking about an experience involving the manipulation of body language. 


Without further ado, here is Lizzie:

"My name is Lizzie, and I'll be your guest blogger for the day. I run the blog Animation Foundation, where I connect art history to relevant topics for the animator.

Body language is an important tool for the animator, and I’m delighted to be able to talk about it. I will spin a tale of a time where I had to actively alter my body language in order to make a better impression of myself.

I've dealt with social anxiety for many years now, and last year I decided to become more active about working on it. I'd go out to parties with friends every weekend, even though I would much rather spend the night at home with a book.

This night’s party was happening at a nice house in the middle of town. The place was a hive of activity, all variety of hipster drinking and chattering away. In short: my worst nightmare. How would I talk to these people? Would they hate me? Would I make a fool of myself? I could feel my palms start to sweat by just thinking about it.

My friend led me over to a group of people chatting under a tree and introduced me. I had to make sure I kept and held good eye contact, and gave the guy in front of me a strong handshake to make a good impression. I resisted all want to hunch over and stare at the ground, and instead forced myself to keep my arms uncrossed. I made myself keep attentive and interested throughout our short conversation. I’ve never found small talk to be particularly attractive or easy, but these activities are the backbone of any big party.

I know that having open body language would give people a better impression of myself. I am naturally reserved and distant, but unfortunately most people take that as being antisocial. I have to make a conscious effort to seem welcoming and open. Unlike naturally charismatic people, I need to keep track of every little thing I do out in public and make sure it’s as welcoming as possible. It’s exhausting, but a necessary evil I’m willing to deal with."

Using body language to improve your social interactions. This is what I'm talking about!

Consistency and Honesty

I've mentioned on more than one occasion about the importance of behaviors being consistent with emotion, and I feel like I could do a better job explaining it in it's own entry.

To put it simply, when I say "consistent" I mean like if someone says they're really sad about something, their body language should reflect that (shoulder low, head down, arms stiff, face distorted, etc.). What a sad person wouldn't be doing is bouncing up and down, walk with light steps, and have a smile. Looking for inconsistency is  key in determining whether or not someone is being dishonest.

How do I know which cues are important?
Another thing to look out for is the length of time it takes for the behavior to appear after the person expressed their emotion. An honest nonverbal behavior is instant and will always begin slightly before the person finishes saying their thoughts. For example a happy person, when asked "how are you doing?", would crack a smile right before they say "great!" A dishonest signal would require thought, and usually will come after the statement.

As long as you're looking at their face, you should probably also note the immediate reaction to "how are you doing?" If the person is truly upset about something, they may actually give you a frown before they lie and answer "good." This, and any type of honest signal happens in a split-second, so don't blink!

This seems like a tough thing to practice.
This concept makes perfect sense in my head, but I'm having a pretty difficult time putting it down on e-paper so I hope this is at least making some sense to you, too. The easiest thing you can do is simply ask someone "how are you doing?" and see how they respond. The most effective way to practice is figure out if the person is having a bad day before you ask because most people will lie about having a bad day. Just remember what you learned and try to match what you hear with what you see.


Navarro, J. (2008). What Every BODY Is Saying: An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Speed-Reading People. New York: Harper Collins.

Expressing Emotions On-Stage and Off

I had a pleasant conversation with an experienced stage actor and director, Robert Stanton, who also has taught English for a very long time.

Manipulating body language is very useful in social situations, but it also comes in handy when an actor on stage needs to express an emotion clearly enough so the audience can understand the general feeling of the play even if they have trouble hearing the lines.

"When I directed plays, I told my cast that it should be almost possible for the audience to follow the story even if they couldn't hear the words."

Of course hearing the words are paramount to understanding the substance of a play, but being able to effectively portray a given feeling can at least help the audience understand the emotional drama of the scene. A woman brushing off tears can easily portray sadness on the silver screen, but on stage the actors should get on their knees and cover their face as they loudly bawl to convey sadness across a larger distance.

Speed-reading body language can greatly help you as an educator, as well. If you're in a position to teach someone else, it's important to note the second-by-second reaction of your students to what you are saying.

"In teaching, when I was introducing a new or controversial point, I watched the students' body language closely. If they smiled or nodded slightly, I felt that things were going well; but if they sat stone-faced, I switched to a different approach. Even in personal conversation, sitting stone-faced is intimidating."

Being able to read nonverbal responses is especially important in situations where you want to impress whoever you're talking to, such as a professor or boss. A stone-faced boss is either unimpressed or totally uninterested in what you're saying, unintentionally telling you that you need to change your approach! Use these cues to your advantage because body language is there to help you in every situation, including romantic relationships.

"Body language also plays a huge role in ordinary life. In a couple, actions with each other such as turning away, being monosyllabic (using words with only one syllable, such as "no"), or ignoring the other person communicates as loud as words, if not louder."

I think Bob would agree with me when I say body language is easily applicable in every situation that involves more than one person. I will say again: body language are honest reactions governed by the reactive portion of the brain. The ability to read and decode these reactions will only help you.

Looking at Real-World Examples

This entry is going to be a podcast! I'll be talking about some key observations regarding Bill Clinton's famous response to his alleged affair with Monica Lewinsky.

This is the speech in question:

Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gV6yhEbEw9c

Don't worry about the length, the segment I'll be talking about starts at 6:18 and it will go by quick!

Enjoy!

*Disclaimer*
This podcast is merely an analysis on body language in speech. Though I use some mild accusatory language, this analysis in no way reflects my own political views nor am I trying to convince you that Bill Clinton is any less of a decent man.

The Guide to Beating Your Friends at Poker

"Play the player, not the game."
I've already mentioned more than once on using some of these observations to your advantage in a game of poker, so I figured I'd compile all the important ideas and add some new ones to make a neat set of instructions for you. With this, I hope you can gain and harness the body language skills to decimate your friends' wallets.

*Disclaimer*
If you are hosting a poker night, participants MUST be legitimate guests and/or friends, the session MUST be closed to the public, and you MUST NOT charge an entry fee that is separate from the stakes. If you don't follow these rules, you are breaking the law!

I'm mainly focusing on Texas Hold 'Em, if you don't know the rules, look them up.

What you want to pay attention are behaviors that are irregular. A "tell" could be meaningless if it is constantly present--knees bouncing up and down is a sign of excitement, but if the person is constantly bouncing his knees he could just be naturally restless. Figuring out a person's normal behavior is called establishing a baseline.

Step 1: The initial deal

• Pay attention to the other participants as they get their cards and look for the changes in their face. Facial tells can be as subtle as a slight eye brow-raise (pleasure, excitement) or as apparent as a cringe. 
• If they have a good pa-pa-pa-poker face, check their legs and feet (but don't be obvious!). If their knees start to bounce in reaction to seeing their hand, you can assume the cards are good.
• Check for defensive behaviors. These will look as if to help the person hold his/her ground. Look for fist clenching or grabbing on to a chair's armrest, as well as feet being planted firmly on the ground. If the person gets defensive, it means they are going to have a tough time winning with their cards. I've talked about pacifying behaviors before. The same rules apply.

Step 2: The flop, turn, and river

• Each time a new card is presented is an opportunity for you to see how the players feel. You can apply the same ideas from Step 1 here. Even if you fold early, I highly recommend still paying attention to how your friends behave.
• The card-reveal phase is also a place where you can observe a constant behavior to stop. If a person constantly bounces his knees and then suddenly stops on the turn, take note of it. He suddenly has a reason to be inconspicuous and monitor his own behavior, which means he's in bluffing mode.
• Some may pretend to give negative signals to throw you off, but all you have to do is see how long they keep it up. If their act is drawn-out over a long period of time, then they are most likely lying. A 10-30 second display of "oh my hand sucks" is way too long to be considered an honest reaction. An honest reaction (or "tell" or "twitch") is just that: a reaction. These should never last longer than 3 seconds.

Step 3: The betting phases

• Here you want to see how the players would react to a raise in bet. If a player is confident in their hand, they will show no defensive signs. A confident player will sit up when faced with a challenge, and the bad poker players usually won't be able to hide their excited knee-bouncing at this point. The knee-bounce is super important, if you couldn't already tell.
• You should also pay attention to who raises the bet as well. Was he the one that displayed defensive signals in the other phases? He's bluffing, so you should call or raise further. Make sure their actions match their earlier behavior. If they don't match, it's a bluff. Also make sure the act of betting (an act of high confidence) is followed by confident nonverbal behavior. If they pacify themselves after a raise, their actions don't match their feelings: it's a bluff.

What do you do against an "all-in"?

Well, that's up to you. Has the player been consistently displaying signs of confidence? Does he have an upright posture? Does he have a smile and a "twinkle" in his eyes? It may be safer to cut your losses here and let him win this round. Conversely, a player may use the "all-in" as a desperate way to get back into the game. If his earlier behaviors match this sentiment, you can definitely match his bet and get him out of the game.

Closing

I hope this guide helps you, but remember: with great power comes great responsibility. You should be thinking about how your winnings are going to affect the relationship you have with your friends. If you don't actually care, then by all means take their money. You earned it.

Terms to remember:

Baseline

The general rule about an honest reaction being quick

Arneson, E. Texas Hold 'Em Poker Rules. Retrieved from http://boardgames.about.com/cs/poker/a/texas_rules.htm

Navarro, J. (2008). What Every BODY Is Saying: An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Speed-Reading People. New York: Harper Collins.

Uncredited. Retrieved from http://www.flopturnriverpoker.com/poker/pacifying-behavioral-tells

Professional Applications of Body Language

I had a chance to talk with Vanessa Merton, a lawyer and professor. She mainly teaches new lawyers how to work with and represent others, as well as teach them how to communicate in all forms.

"Observing where someone chooses to sit in relation to you often gives important clues, so when possible and appropriate, we let whoever we are meeting with choose the seat in an office or room. People who face you directly usually are prepared to be pretty straightforward, while those who sit sideways may be trying to limit what they communicate, although sometimes as a lawyer you choose to sit diagonally across a table from a client, so that you are closer and don't have the bulk of the table between you."

First impressions like these can immediately indicate how much a client is willing to cooperate. Being able to tell a person's openness just from observing nonverbal behavior is a key factor in jobs that center on talking with people.

Body language isn't just limited to what you observe, either. You can present yourself more effectively by manipulating your own behaviors. This also applies to conscious actions that you take.

"It's always a choice whether to take notes during an interview with a non-lawyer. If you do, it's a good idea to explain to the other participants why you are, and offer to share a copy of any notes if they want. New lawyers tend not to realize how inhibiting and off-putting it can be if you just start taking notes. Usually we try, when meeting a new potential client or witness, to listen first to the person's full story, full narrative expression of what they want or are afraid of or confused about, before starting to take notes."

Improving your ability to read body language, as well as manipulate your own, will greatly increase your performance on a job. You will be able to tailor your communication approaches so the person you're interacting with can feel more comfortable and confident doing business with you. Remember: learning body language is all about improving your social interactions!

Present Yourself Right

When you communicate, how much of your ideas are expressed through words?

Have you ever thought about the effect of your posture, movements, gestures, facial expressions, and the volume and tone of your voice?

Approximately 60-65% of all interpersonal communication is comprised of nonverbal behavior.

Knowing what your body is saying at all times is essential if you want to effectively communicate with others, especial if those people are of importance or authority. When you are speaking to a job interviewer, you should make an effort to appear confident, honest, and calm.

Relax, sit (or stand) up straight, and think before you speak. These things can go a long way to help you look more confident.

Have you figured out your pacifying behaviors?

Learn to suppress your pacifiers.

You'll know stress when you feel it. Since you also know what your pacifiers are, you are capable to hide your stress. If you figured out that you like to massage your ears under stress, just don't! It's that simple: if you can see it coming, you can stop it. If your interviewer can't see that you are visibly stressed, you will appear more confident in what you are saying. This also frees up your hands to help you along your appearance.

So what should your hands be doing?

Here's a trick: when a person answers a question with absolute confidence, he often does what is called hand steepling. This is when you put your hands together only at the tip of your fingers with space between your palms (elbows may be resting on a surface). Hand steepling is a sign of high confidence to an experienced observer, such as an interviewer! 

If you want to express emotional neutrality, just leave your hands visible on the applicable surface (knees or table works just fine). This gestures ensures your interviewer that you have nothing to hide, and you can also use the visibility to express your emotional stability as well. When you leave your hands openly visible, however, you will want to hide any signs of emotional change. This includes fist-clenching, trying to grab onto the surface, rubbing hands together, and interlocking fingers (praying hands). Being able to hide these signs can also express your confidence.

Trained observers of body language look for the changes you exhibit in response to a stimulus, such as a difficult question. As long as you learn how to keep your body consistently calm and relaxed, you will have an easier time impressing your potential employer!

Terms to remember:

Hand steepling

Praying hands


Navarro, J. (2008). What Every BODY Is Saying: An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Speed-Reading People. New York: Harper Collins.

Reading the Language of Romance

This had to happen sooner or later, so here's an early treat:

How can body language be used to detect attraction?

I don't mean to teach you secret exploits you can take advantage of in your romantic endeavors, but hopefully you'll still pick up some tips on figuring out if a person is interested in you at all (the rest is up to you!).

I've mentioned eyelid-raising as a nonverbal behavior of excitement, but there are many more ways to tell if a person is interested in you, and we'll start by looking at what men do.

It all comes down to the manhood.

If a man stands tall, spreads his chest, and put his hands somewhere on the belt line (also known as the "Superman pose"), he is trying to show off his masculinity. Displays like this are designed to dominate attention, even if you're alone. This particular pose also opens up the pores in the armpit where pheromones, chemicals that trigger social responses, are released--a biological sign of sexual attraction. Making the front open for viewing also allows the man to proudly display his groin, which works like how a male peacock displays his tail feathers to a female.

Another thing you can look for is feet placement. When you are having a conversation with anyone, feet facing directly at you usually means that the person is truly interested in your conversation. If the person would rather be someplace else, the body often reflects that by orienting itself toward the nearest exit. A man leaning into your personal space is also a pretty good indication of interest.

These are very basic signs of attraction, but then again men aren't notorious for being difficult to read.

Women: the mystical maze of wonder.

So how can you tell if a woman is interested?

One of the most common signs of romantic interest is the hair-flick. Women flick their hair to the side, no matter how short it may be, to bring attention to their face. It's a pretty good sign if a woman wants you to see more of her. The physical act of flicking the hair also frees up space near the armpit for pheromones to travel through, much like men (if you haven't noticed yet, many of our nonverbal behaviors are directly adapted from biological mechanisms for survival).

The "facial pedestal" works in a similar way. This is when a woman joins her hands together and rests her face on them. This does not mean she's bored--she wants to bring her face to your attention so you can give her a compliment.

There are other ways a woman can attract attention as well. We have several spots on our bodies that are vulnerable, namely the neck, throat, and wrist. When we feel comfortable around a person, we tend to display behaviors that show those parts. A neck tilt is a very positive sign of attraction, as are actions that draw attention to a woman's wrist. If you've seen movies where the female romantic interest is a smoker, she often holds her cigarette by the side of her face, eye-level, and wrist facing the other character.

These are all simple and obvious attraction signs that go criminally overlooked. A strong indication of attraction is any behavior that is designed to bring something to your attention.

Bottom line: if they are trying to get you interested, then they are interested.

Cox, T. (2011). 18 Body Language Clues That Say He's Interested--Definitely. Retrieved from http://www.ivillage.com/18-body-language-clues-say-hes-interested-definitely/4-a-283709?p=1.

Hesketh, D. Body Language of Sexual Attraction Between Male and Female. Retrieved from http://www.cheshiretherapy.com/index.php/Latest/body-language/All-Pages.html.

Michael, M. (20110). Body Language: Signs of Attraction. Retrieved from http://sapientology.com/body-language/signs-of-attraction/.

Navarro, J. (2008). What Every BODY Is Saying: An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Speed-Reading People. New York: Harper Collins.

Pheromone. (n.d.). In Merriam-Webster's online dictionary. Retrieved from http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/pheromone.

A Kid in a Candy Store--Excitement Defies Gravity

Our species has very little difficulty figuring out when people are excited. We see overt signs of happiness and excitement all the time, especially in sports. Soccer players who make a goal on TV would immediately follow the point with the signature arm-raise and run towards the team, often embracing in the air. Even the steps they take seem lighter, as if the players can't help bouncing up and down.

Behaviors that physically elevate an individual are limbic reactions to excitement, and are called gravity defying behaviors. Obvious signs of excitement, such as the ones made by the soccer players from above, can also be easily observed in children. When you visit a mall, keep a look out for children who go into a toy store or ice cream shop--you know they're excited when their heels are bouncing off the ground.

Similar behaviors can be observed if you happen to reconnect with a good friend. If they raise their arms above their heads and stand on their toes for a hug, you know for sure he/she is excited to see you (provided that your friend isn't trying to compensate for height).

Gravity naturally keeps you comfortably on the ground. If your body makes an effort to elevate yourself over this comfort zone, you can bet it's a sign of excitement.

You've probably already seen these nonverbal behaviors, so what else is there to talk about?

Gravity defying behaviors come many sizes, and they are not limited to arms and legs (though they are the easiest to observe).

One example of a subtle gravity defying behavior is a tiny raise of the eyelids in response to a new stimulus. Let's say you walk into a room and you run into a familiar professor. If you happen to see that the professor's eyelids rise a little bit when you came in, you can assume that the professor feels positively about seeing you! Here, the limbic brain is telling the eyes to take in more of the pleasing visual information (you!).

Conversely, if you see the eyelids closing just a little bit, you know you should be careful of how you interact with the person.

Lets go back to poker.

Poker is a great subject when talking about subtle hints. I already talked about pacifying behaviors and detecting stress, but excitement always plays a huge role in calling a bluff. Look for any actions that involve going against gravity. These actions could include:

• sitting up in the chair
• rising eyelids (like from before), as well as raised eyebrows
• knees bouncing up and down
• toes raised and held in place (could be hard to see under a table)

Of course, these actions must follow a stimulus. If you observe a player who suddenly starts bouncing his knees right after his hand was dealt, you can certainly assume he was dealt good cards. If this particular player stops bouncing his knees, such as when a bet was raised too high for him, you can also assume this player is no longer excited or happy. It's just as  important to note when a behavior stops because this indicates a shift in mood.

Terms to remember:

Gravity defying behavior


Navarro, J. (2008). What Every BODY Is Saying: An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Speed-Reading People. New York: Harper Collins.

"Look DOWN when I'm talking to you!"--A Lesson in Context

"When talking about body language, the most interesting thing I could think of is the interaction between an American businessman and a Japanese one. The American will get in your face, shake your hand, crowd your area, and maintain rigid eye contact during the interaction. The Japanese businessman will try to maintain distance, keep his head low, use eye contact sparingly (to drive home a point), and tend to keep his hands to himself. A nonverbal mismatch like this could literally kill a business deal without exchanging a single word!"

My dad gave me that anecdote when I asked him about body language, and this brought to my attention the most important lesson about reading body language--context. Just because you see something, it doesn't mean it's important. A person scratching his nose after making a statement doesn't always mean he's lying--he could simply have an itchy nose.

So what does this entry's title mean? "Look down when I'm talking to you" is a typical sentiment expressed by East-Asian parents when verbally disciplining their child. Avoiding eye contact is actually a sign of respect in countries like Japan, while American parents expect their children to mirror eye contact in a similar situation.

"Body language lets you know how totally wrong your perception of others is."

My dad was an American businessman working in Japan who found his "typical" behavior conflicting with his new culture. When he would look a Japanese contact in the eyes, he didn't mean it as a sign of aggression or disrespect (as eye contact is understood in Japan); he merely wanted to express his commitment to the work in a way that is normal in his home country. He took this lesson and ran with it, adapting to mirror other Japanese businessmen's behavior so he may be more accepted. You have to keep in mind that there are many nonverbal behaviors that are NOT universal when reading body language (exceptions include Dr. Paul Ekman's study of facial expression, which I may discuss in the future).

This is where context comes into play

It is up to you to figure out what a nonverbal behavior means. You see someone scratching his neck, but so what? Did it follow a statement that he made, or was it a response to seeing his bike with flat tires? Did it follow anything at all? It is entirely possible that the neck-scratching meant absolutely nothing, and it is up to YOU to figure that out.

"Before your plunge into the forest, you should have the proper gear."

Translation: "prepare and practice."

Terms to remember:

Context
Context
Context

Pacifying Behavior--Because It Comforts Us

Rubbing of the neck and jaw, pinching of the earlobes and nose, and scratching of the cheeks and forehead. We see these actions all the time, but what do they mean?

Under stressful situations, such as when we are posed with a difficult question or bad news, the brain throws a little tantrum and enlists the body to make the brain feel more comfortable. As communication coach Starla West describes it: "the brain requires the body to do something that will stimulate nerve endings to release calming endorphins in the brain, so that the brain can be soothed." The behaviors we exhibit in response to the brain's signal are called pacifying behaviors.


Pacifying behavior can be anything that involves touching or rubbing, such as the few I've listed above. Level of stress can also be gauged by observing the intensity of the behavior--a woman lightly stroking the tip of her chin is less stressed than a man rubbing his entire jawline.


Here are some additional nonverbal behaviors you can look out for:

• the infamous back-of-the-neck rubbing
• playing with hair
• rubbing up and down the thigh (prevalent in interview settings when a table is blocking the view)
• scratching of the head
• covering the neck
• a needless adjustment of eyeglasses, which seamlessly transitions to nose-pinching

Anytime a hand is used to "soothe" the body for the purpose of calming the brain, you can categorize it as a  pacifying behavior. 

Be Careful, and look for clusters!

Sometimes a nose-scratch is just because of an itchy nose! (I'll discuss context in the next entry)You can be sure that the person is under stress if he/she exhibits more than one pacifying behavior, or a cluster of behaviors. You can get a more reliable reading of stress if you can see multiple different pacifying behaviors in quick succession. Imagine someone who starts by rubbing his neck, then transitions upward by stroking his cheek, then finally moves to scratch the back of his neck. You wouldn't be wrong to assume that this particular man is under a lot of stress!

Also be very careful of what you observe. A truly honest person can show many signs of stress in a tense job interview--just because a person exhibits stress, it doesn't automatically mean they are lying!

To practice, the next time you hear bad news, the assignment of a very difficult homework for example, take note of how your body responds. If you figure out what your own pacifying behavior is, it will be much easier to figure what other's are since you know what to look for.

For further reading:

You know an activity that can reliably put people under stressful conditions?
Poker! Grab some friends for a night of poker and look for sudden reactions a person makes when a hand is dealt, or when someone raises the bet. Flop Turn River Poker published a fantastic numbered guide on reading poker tells, and reinforces the ideas of context and behavior-clusters. Try this at home before you think you can handle real betting at a casino, though. The world may not be as forgiving of potential mistakes!

Terms to remember:

Pacifying Behavior
Behavior-clusters



Navarro, J. (2008). What Every BODY Is Saying: An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Speed-Reading People. New York: Harper Collins.

West, S. What Are YOUR Pacifying Behaviors?. Retrieved from http://ezinearticles.com/?What-Are-YOUR-Pacifying-Behaviors?&id=3643148

Uncredited. Retrieved from http://www.flopturnriverpoker.com/poker/pacifying-behavioral-tells

Before We Get Started

Before I go into "how to read body language," there are a couple of simple but important things I need to teach you. The next blocks of text may seem long, but the ideas are simple to conceptualize and easy to learn. Trust me, this stuff will help you learn body language-reading much faster.

Your Brain

That thing in your head that you actively use to think. What you may not know or just take for granted, is that your brain is constantly reacting to things without your conscious knowledge. There is a portion of your brain, the limbic brain, that is in charge of automatic reactions and all nonverbal behaviors. Have you ever been served a food dish that looked so gross that you winced and looked away? That reaction is your limbic brain's way of protecting you from an undesirable sight. The automatic process of the limbic brain is very important when talking about body language because a quick, automatic reaction ensures that whatever behavior you observe is almost certainly honest. You can think of the limbic brain as having its own set of feelings and your body language truthfully reflects them!

Moving on.
Have you heard of "fight or flight"? This is the common belief of what we do when we face danger. I need you to forget this concept entirely, because I'm going to teach you:

The Three F's of Nonverbal Behavior

1. The Freeze response--movement attracts attention, and our early hominid ancestors adopted the freeze response as the first line of defense against natural predators (feline hunters are experts at tracking movements of their prey). Has anyone told you to play dead if you get attacked by a bear? Same concept. Freeze can also be seen in response to the mere perception of a threat. When you watch a scary movie, do you ever notice yourself freezing up during an especially tense moment? Same concept--your brain senses a threat, and automatically reacts by making your body less noticeable. The same could be said about shrinking in size as well--lowering your head and shoulders or burying yourself in a blanket makes you less noticeable.
2. The Flight response--this should sound familiar. If playing dead on a bear doesn't work, you run. However, flight doesn't always have to mean literally running away. Over time, our species has adapted the flight response to create emotional and physical barriers between us and a threat to make our limbic brain feel more comfortable. Imagine yourself having a conversation with someone. During the conversation, you observe the person raise a notebook up to his/her chest--what does that mean? Something you said must have caused discomfort in the person, who in turn created a physical barrier using a notebook to increase distance from you. This is, indeed, a demonstration of flight.
3. The Fight response--your last resort. If you can't hide or run away from your threat, you are left with the option to retaliate through physical or verbal aggression. If you are in a heated argument, screaming insults at the other person is a form of fight, as is making rude gestures. Physical violence is almost always frowned upon, however, so you should refrain from it as much as you can.

Why is knowing any of this important?

Nonverbal behaviors that indicate discomfort can be gauged on the levels of the three F's. A person exhibiting signs of freeze is at a lower level of discomfort than a person exhibiting signs of flight, and so on. I wanted to start with this because discomfort is one of the easiest emotions you can detect through body language, and an accurate reading of it can help you socialize with people more effectively.

Let's say a particular man is an unpracticed liar. Do you know what kind of messages he sends through body language if he answers a question dishonestly? He exhibits signs of stress and discomfort.

Yes--being able to accurately read discomfort can help you become a human lie detector.


Upcoming entries will teach you some basic behaviors you can observe to put these concepts into practice!

Terms to remember:

Limbic brain

Freeze/Flight/Fight (in that order)

Navarro, J. (2008). What Every BODY Is Saying: An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Speed-Reading People. New York: Harper Collins.

A Little About Me

I am a psychology student. My interest in psychology comes from my fascination with how people act and why—their underlying motivations, thoughts, and feelings. I like to casually observe people and see what they do and how they act. I find comfort in knowing about the people around me, and my natural curiosity drives me to learn as much as I can about as many people as possible.

Unfortunately, sometimes I don’t get to see people in action. They may just be sitting or standing around and not doing much else. This doesn’t help my pursuit of knowledge, does it? This is where my interest in body language comes in. People give away more information in their posture, leg placement, or even idle hand movement than they realize. The way a person stands in an elevator can give you as much, if not more information about the person’s state of mind than asking them. I started looking for subtle hints, or tells, that indicate a change in a person’s state of mind to figure out how exactly that person is feeling.

I’m still fairly new at this and I’m not an expert by any means, but I’m going to try and give you some basic pointers on what kind of behaviors to look out for and how to apply them in context to the situation. To clarify, there is absolutely no “universal tell” for a lie—this is a myth. A body language cue, or nonverbal behavior, merely tells you that the person in question went through a change in his/her state of mind, and it is up to you to put your observation in context and figure out what that cue means.

By reading my blog, I hope you learn a few easy tricks you can use in your daily lives to figure out how people around you are feeling. A lot of my information comes from the book What Every BODY is Saying, by former-FBI Special Agent Joe Navarro. I may also take pictures to illustrate examples if I think a given behavior calls for it.

Terms to Remember:

Tells
Nonverbal behavior vs. body language (for the purpose of this blog, nonverbal behavior is defined as an observable action made by a person, while body language is the broad collection of information you get from observing that person)