Before We Get Started

Before I go into "how to read body language," there are a couple of simple but important things I need to teach you. The next blocks of text may seem long, but the ideas are simple to conceptualize and easy to learn. Trust me, this stuff will help you learn body language-reading much faster.

Your Brain

That thing in your head that you actively use to think. What you may not know or just take for granted, is that your brain is constantly reacting to things without your conscious knowledge. There is a portion of your brain, the limbic brain, that is in charge of automatic reactions and all nonverbal behaviors. Have you ever been served a food dish that looked so gross that you winced and looked away? That reaction is your limbic brain's way of protecting you from an undesirable sight. The automatic process of the limbic brain is very important when talking about body language because a quick, automatic reaction ensures that whatever behavior you observe is almost certainly honest. You can think of the limbic brain as having its own set of feelings and your body language truthfully reflects them!

Moving on.
Have you heard of "fight or flight"? This is the common belief of what we do when we face danger. I need you to forget this concept entirely, because I'm going to teach you:

The Three F's of Nonverbal Behavior

1. The Freeze response--movement attracts attention, and our early hominid ancestors adopted the freeze response as the first line of defense against natural predators (feline hunters are experts at tracking movements of their prey). Has anyone told you to play dead if you get attacked by a bear? Same concept. Freeze can also be seen in response to the mere perception of a threat. When you watch a scary movie, do you ever notice yourself freezing up during an especially tense moment? Same concept--your brain senses a threat, and automatically reacts by making your body less noticeable. The same could be said about shrinking in size as well--lowering your head and shoulders or burying yourself in a blanket makes you less noticeable.
2. The Flight response--this should sound familiar. If playing dead on a bear doesn't work, you run. However, flight doesn't always have to mean literally running away. Over time, our species has adapted the flight response to create emotional and physical barriers between us and a threat to make our limbic brain feel more comfortable. Imagine yourself having a conversation with someone. During the conversation, you observe the person raise a notebook up to his/her chest--what does that mean? Something you said must have caused discomfort in the person, who in turn created a physical barrier using a notebook to increase distance from you. This is, indeed, a demonstration of flight.
3. The Fight response--your last resort. If you can't hide or run away from your threat, you are left with the option to retaliate through physical or verbal aggression. If you are in a heated argument, screaming insults at the other person is a form of fight, as is making rude gestures. Physical violence is almost always frowned upon, however, so you should refrain from it as much as you can.

Why is knowing any of this important?

Nonverbal behaviors that indicate discomfort can be gauged on the levels of the three F's. A person exhibiting signs of freeze is at a lower level of discomfort than a person exhibiting signs of flight, and so on. I wanted to start with this because discomfort is one of the easiest emotions you can detect through body language, and an accurate reading of it can help you socialize with people more effectively.

Let's say a particular man is an unpracticed liar. Do you know what kind of messages he sends through body language if he answers a question dishonestly? He exhibits signs of stress and discomfort.

Yes--being able to accurately read discomfort can help you become a human lie detector.


Upcoming entries will teach you some basic behaviors you can observe to put these concepts into practice!

Terms to remember:

Limbic brain

Freeze/Flight/Fight (in that order)

Navarro, J. (2008). What Every BODY Is Saying: An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Speed-Reading People. New York: Harper Collins.